I Want to Be With Me

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Be Who You Want to Hang Out With by Nicole Plymesser Nelson

Aren’t these little guys funny?  I have no idea why I drew them like this–I probably saw something on Pinterest that inspired them.  They make me smile.

Those are the kinds of people I like to be with–the ones who SMILE A LOT.  The ones who make me want to smile a lot.

It took some hard self-reflection to understand this concept.  Not long ago, I spent a lot of time with people who didn’t smile a lot.  I had things in common with them.  We could talk easily.  But I didn’t like who I was when I was with them.  And I discovered I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be with–think about that–not wanting to be with your own self because you are disgusted with your own heart.

I had let a lot of bitterness fill me.  The depression was taking over.  I didn’t smile much.  I was constantly annoyed.  I blamed it on my circumstances and everyone around me.  And then I realized.  I was the circumstance.  I was the nasty person.

So I made changes.  I did what I needed to medically control the depression. I prayed and prayed for the bitterness to be set free.  I decided my circumstance wasn’t going to change–we weren’t moving–so I needed to find reasons to like where I live.  I needed to make my house what I wanted.  I needed to give of my gifts and stop letting people take what they wanted.  I made more time for the people who make me smile, and let go or either budgeted small amounts of time for the unhealthy relationships.

And it made a huge difference.  I like ME again.  I am someone I would want to spend time with.  And I realized:  some people will want to be with, will need, what this version of me has to give–others will not.  And that is a wonderful lesson to be okay with.

Have you ever had to learn this lesson?

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.

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