A New Kind of Chameleon

IMG_0001-001Sometimes I have been the chameleon:  I used to think if I looked the part, that would make my talents shine more.  It has made for crazy fashion choices.

Some of my favorite things that I thought made me “look artsy”:  tall laced up boots, flowy skirts, flannel shirts, unitards, clogs, birkenstocks, hippie patterns, overalls, spiked hair.  Some have been successful looks, some not so much.  **Note: I also have attempted “trendy” looks with not great results also.

Other people’s perceptions have not always been “artsy” but:  little boy, Mennonite, homeless person.  Seriously.

Now, I go with what I like:  COLOR– love me some color, stuff that is warm–part of the reason I love the scarf trend and follow it religiously, shoes that do not make my legs ache, clothes that cover–I have always loved long skirts.

Sometimes my art has been the chameleon:  I thought if I drew like someone or copied their techniques or followed the scrapbooking trends that it would make my art better.

Now:  I go with what I like– COLOR, flowy, comfy, wordy.  Me.

I am no longer a chameleon trying to blend in, but a chameleon proud of my colors and talents and ready to stand on my own.

 

 

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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Holy Snow!

IMG_0006-001I say holy moly schmoly.  Sweet Niblets.  Cool Beans.  I do.  I say things like ooo, bad crashy crashy, bonkers, dude.  I know.  Can’t help myself.

This year I am saying HOLY SNOW!  I haven’t seen this much this often since our first year in Michigan.  At least with this much snow, I am feeling like the air is kind of cleaner and we can catch snowflakes on our tongues and not eat straight smog.

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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oooh, she exploded

IMG_0015I did this one this fall.  I keep revisiting her and couldn’t decide to let her out in public?  Yep, I decided, might as well.  This is my Truth.  This is me growing and stretching to know myself and understand my story.  This is what I journal.  Not just the happy, not just the inspirational.  Sometimes I draw my cyclops self with blue hair and three fingers.

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
5

the good the bad and the ugly

IMG_0002-001The ugly this week was my own frustration.  The weather, annoyances with trying to figure out the giveaway, some volunteer committments, and my attitude were not fun parts of the week.

The bad was just not being motivated to homeschool or take care of the house.  And not just me, but the whole family.  And I mean ZERO motivation.  We struggled every single day.  My B12 shot is wearing off and I was super tired and that didn’t help anything.

The good:  My cousin Doug Hollenbeck wins the calendar!   Yay!  He has been one of my super supporters and commenters from the beginning of posting my art on Facebook.  He seems to know just what to say a lot of times, so I am so glad he won.

The good:  I got to see my parents this week.  Always fun to have them come visit!  And they made it safely home in all the crazy weather.

The good:  I went to the art museum with the kids, out for breakfast with a dear friend, out for coffee with a new one, and out for dinner with the hubs.  Good times enjoying things I love with ones I love.

The good:  I finished three canvases with trains for my nephews, found a local printer I really like, and I had a good night painting after some inspiration time on Pinterest.

This is one I did that night, I was inspired by words from a sermon I heard recently, a layout I saw (although I changed it completely in the end), and my birthday which was good, bad and ugly).
IMGAnd I am going to put this out there, bring it up, because I am frustrated and have been processing this all week.

My own birthday is another holiday I struggle with right up there with Christmas, Halloween, anniversaries, Sweetest Day, National Hot Dog Day, you name it.  I just cannot align my thought perceptions and processes to those of popular culture, no matter how hard I try.  Some people have OCD, some are germophobes, some don’t like to travel or change, I dislike holidays.  I know, I know. Weird.  But very true.  And just like I know I am not expected to be OCD, germophobe or whatever with those people, I don’t expect anyone to agree with my holiday dislike, but please just let me be –just as if I were ironing my shoelaces or wearing rubber gloves.

For example, my birthday:  It is not that I am not thankful to be alive or for my birth.  I am.  I am proud of being 39 (heck yeah I have almost made it to 40!), so that is not it.  Actually we should get presents for my parents and husband and celebrate them because they have survived me and my drama!

 It is not that I am not thankful for good wishes, it means a lot to have my loved ones think of me.

(But not the check out girl at the grocery store ID’ing me for wine–that was strange, and not the person on Facebook who I may not even actually know–hence why it is not listed.  Creeps me out personally.  And not the dentist I haven’t visited for three years who sent me a coupon, or the Menards “birthday coupon” for a three in one screwdriver.  Double creepy.)

To me, my birthday is just another day to be thankful for like all the others all year.  Another day in my story, my truth, no more special than the one before or after, no more of an excuse to do or not to do.    No more special than any other person’s day.  No more special than the many people who are a part of my story each day.  No more or less important to celebrate than some random Wednesday because it is a good day to be happy and be me.

No need to make a fuss,  special dinner, presents, a hullaballoo, or anything.  Just let it be.

Many cultures don’t even keep track of birthdays (or many of the holidays here in the USA for that matter).  Some do, but few celebrate American style.  I am more aligned to those other cultures.  I struggle with the American version of holidays in general:  the excess, the agendas, what stores are selling to us as important.   I used to get so caught up in the expectations game:  it will be WONDERFUL, it will be the BEST, better than ever, you should do this, and this, and this, and this and expect this and that.  And THEN you will be happy.  And you know what, for me, that never added up.  I am not the person who can read the magazine letters from everyone on their best whatever or special tradition, because I am too critical of myself, “Nicole!  Why haven’t you done that!  Geesh!  Get on it girl!”  And then I realize, I don’t have any interest in that anyway!  DUH.

Maybe being a holiday disliker makes me a realist, maybe a pessimist.  I don’t know.  But I do know this as part of my truth and unfolding story:   I love God, I love my family–ALL of them, whether they like me or not,  I am learning to love myself,  and I am thankful for all of the above on all sorts of random days–whether it is a national holiday or personal day or just a day.

But, okay, I have to admit, I am thankful for the free chocolate, entree, and wine from Coopershawk Winery for my birthday.  Now that was a FREEBIE! —But the “happy birthday” waiter was creepy.

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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Looking Good Ahead

IMG_0012Life is looking good here.   What a glorious thing.  2008-2012 were rough.  Lots of changes, lots of dealing with my depression and health issues, then dealing with the past.  But, FINALLY I am looking ahead.  And  I can see the sun shining on me.  Thank you God!

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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new year and God’s resolutions for me

IMG_0021Happy 2014!  My trip to Iowa stretched a little longer than planned.  Then when I got home I was ready to remove as much clutter and Christmas decorations as I could.  Do you do that?  I can barely make it until New Year’s Day some years before I start taking it down.

It is snowing and blowing here in Illinois.  So I am inside enjoying the blessing of a warm home, hot chocolate, and a fuzzy sweater thinking of resolutions.  Some years I attain them, some not.

But really, this art sums it up.  I want to figure out what God’s resolutions for me are.  He has plans.   He is working his magic it seems, the more I listen to him, the more I follow, the happier I am.  So maybe I need to just be willing to stretch myself to keep listening.  To take root in his love.  And to grow in my faith, love, and confidence.

See?!  He just wrote that for me, and it makes total sense.

 

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Drawing near, waiting, and listening

IMG_0010More and more I love Exodus.  God was right there for the Israelites, when they wanted to listen, when they were willing to wait.  Those poor people had a lot of waiting to do, but don’t we all?

The countdown for Christmas is going on at our house.  We do Advent devotions each night, which the kids love–a story, a song, maybe a treat.  It is also our timeline for when Christmas will arrive.  Of course, Tanner (who is 5) is leading the way in announcing every morning, “Only 5 more DAYS!!!”   Oh, the waiting.

We are waiting for Christ– for His birth and his coming  again.  But the thing is, we don’t  have to!  He is here.  NOW.  In our hearts.  Listening to our every need, spoken and silent.  We just have to draw near to Christ and let him work his magic in his own time.

There are a lot of people waiting for peace and guidance this Christmas.  I know so many who have lost loved ones in the past few months.  Or made major moves across the country, or found out they were going to make a huge move.  Or just dealing with the day to day. Know that God has heard you.  Draw near to him. Keep waiting and his answers will come.

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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I believe, do you?

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That is one loaded statement.  Especially this time of year.

How about Santa?  How about Christ?  How about in myself?

I believe in all three.  🙂

There is definitely a magic to Santa.  I love being one of the elves for my kids and to others.  I believe in the magic of the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, fairies, leprechauns, and more.  Magic is just well, so magical.  Don’t you agree?

Jesus was born to be our Savior and it is indeed right to worship and praise him.  His teachings are universal.  LOVE. PEACE. ACCEPTANCE.  BELIEVE

And since I am a princess, daughter of the King  and Savior of the World,  (and so are you a princess or prince) darn right I believe in me.  At least most of the time.  And when I don’t, I turn to the Heavenly Father who helps remind me, who envelops me in those teachings above.  Who fills my heart with magic to share with others.

I believe.  I do, I do, I do.

How about you?

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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Winter with friends

IMGWinter can look two very different ways depending on your attitude.  A couple of years ago, ok every year for the last five, I have not been in a good place, and had a horrible attitude about winter most of the time.  I despised the cold.  Shoveling our corner lot was a LONG time to be thinking bad, evil things.  You get the drift.

This year I am finally getting things back in perspective.  I have loved the beauty of the snow.  The silence of its blanket is calming me.  I even shoveled two of the three snows without too much grumbling.

I am doing a much better job of focusing on friends and family and thanksgiving this winter.  When I saw this quote the morning of our first snow, this design immediately popped into my head and onto the paper.  God moment.

So here is to my new friends, the ones who have stood by me–especially the past few, and for the new ones to be made.  How about you?  What is your attitude toward winter this year?

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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No More Daydreams

What have you been dreaming of doing?

Today is the time.  It can be possible.  It can be life right now.

I have been dreaming of going somewhere with my art for years.  That dream has changed over the years, but it has always been there in some form.  This blog is the next step in that dream.  I want to share my art with the world first and foremost.  Whether it is on cards, calendars, or in a book someday, it doesn’t really matter.
IMG_0006I am making this my life and I thank you for helping me from the bottom of my heart.

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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know your role

IMG_0019

My husband has been telling me this for years.  Know your role.  It is so true.  When I take a moment and stop to really think about what my role in that situation is and what others think my role is, it often solves a lot of questions, even conflicts.  We all have many roles.  Some of mine are wife, mother, sister, daughter, artist, teacher, writer.  Some of those mean different things in different settings.  I have to tailor my role to the  different expectations.

What do you really need to make important?  What are others going to expect of you?

And those may not be the same things.  Your attitude toward that role might make things easier.  I know I need to remember this!

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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Act on It

There are so many ways to love people, so many different kinds of love.  What an amazing gift it is to love others.  How amazing that we are wired to feel that emotion.  Sometimes words are enough.  Sometimes an action means more.  Don’t sit still today–SHOW someone you care.  Whether it is someone you know or not, let that love shine out.  Don’t let the words get in the way.  Act on it.

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Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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Honoring Mandela

The glaze pens arrived!!!!  You have no idea how excited I got!  The funny thing is that it was the backordered/thought it was canceled order that came.  So another box of pens should be coming soon.  I should have almost fifty pens.  Which is awesome, because I used up THREE of them yesterday finishing/creating artworks.  All of them scanned, uploaded and waiting to go onto the blog and zazzle.  Happy me.

I had these two backgrounds waiting and waiting for the right quotes.  The death of a great man who worked for great change inspired me to look for some of the wisdom of this amazing person, Nelson Mandela.  That search led me right where I needed– to words that show his sense, his courage, his heart.  Words that touched me, and I hope inspire you as well.  Enjoy.  IMG_0016
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Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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Prioritize and Celebrate

IMG_0004

We are in the throes of the holiday season.  Thanksgiving is done, we may know people celebrating Hannukah, and Christmas isn’t far away now.

I  did some Black Friday shopping and stood in line for 2 hours to get in Target.  I do have to admit as soon as I got inside the fever got me and I was pulled right into that frenzy.  I had to follow some veteran advice from the line,” Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.”  I learned from other veterans, “to buy now, return later when you come to your senses.”  Really, that is what they told me.  It was worth it though:  I was able to complete most of my list and get things I normally wouldn’t, so that should take off some pressure this month.  And I prioritized my shopping, I am only going to return a couple extra items.  🙂

I learned something else out there about prioritizing.  As  I stood in the cold and wondered what the heck I was thinking, I realized I had no right to complain.  I CHOSE to be out in 20 degree weather, shopping for luxury items–even the extra underwear which was a super good deal and with Belle the dog around extra underwear is a must.    But I digress, the cold was a good reminder of all the blessings and luxuries I have in my life.  I was thankful for the socks and shoes I had on (one woman shopping was in flip flops).  I had on a new coat, hat, and mittens (some forgot to bring any of those).  And there are a lot of people out there without any.  I bought extra socks that night to give to people who need them.  We have outgrown coats and hats to donate, too.  We will celebrate the cold.  We will celebrate our blessings–even the good Black Friday deals.  We will prioritize what is necessary this season.  And we will share those celebrations.

How about you?  Any good deals?  Donations this year?

Go, Tell, and make disciples of all nations--spread the good news.
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