I have decided to share something I wrote while at the IF conference. I think it articulates where I am right now, and where I am wanting to go. Maybe some of you will be able to relate. And of course I painted a visual to go with:
I have believed in You always. You have been a constant companion. You have been a confidante. I have always wanted your presence. I have always known you loved me. But, I have let that relationship become,well, expected.
Like a tree, I have a strong core…there are many rings in my trunk. You helped my branches reach out to you and to others in faith, in gratitude, and in service. You have helped me grow taller than I thought I could. The canopy of leaves is lush and full.
BUT: I have not worked on my own faith. The rings got so thin. I have not dug deeper roots, they have been rotting. They are starting to touch the surface, no longer deeply buried as I forgot to water and feed my own faith with nutrients. I used everything to reach out, and forgot to reach in. My roots are stretched thin searching for your WORDS. Not mine, or those of our culture or political society. BUT YOURS.
Now. Now is that time. I want thick rings. I want deep roots. Help me, lead me, to fertilize those roots and grow thick rings in that core.
Yours Christ, Nicole
Ever feel this way? Or are you the opposite–you have been digging deep roots, strengthening the trunk and are ready to branch out? Either way, I am excited to see where we go with this. We’ll talk more tomorrow.