Aren’t these little guys funny? I have no idea why I drew them like this–I probably saw something on Pinterest that inspired them. They make me smile.
Those are the kinds of people I like to be with–the ones who SMILE A LOT. The ones who make me want to smile a lot.
It took some hard self-reflection to understand this concept. Not long ago, I spent a lot of time with people who didn’t smile a lot. I had things in common with them. We could talk easily. But I didn’t like who I was when I was with them. And I discovered I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be with–think about that–not wanting to be with your own self because you are disgusted with your own heart.
I had let a lot of bitterness fill me. The depression was taking over. I didn’t smile much. I was constantly annoyed. I blamed it on my circumstances and everyone around me. And then I realized. I was the circumstance. I was the nasty person.
So I made changes. I did what I needed to medically control the depression. I prayed and prayed for the bitterness to be set free. I decided my circumstance wasn’t going to change–we weren’t moving–so I needed to find reasons to like where I live. I needed to make my house what I wanted. I needed to give of my gifts and stop letting people take what they wanted. I made more time for the people who make me smile, and let go or either budgeted small amounts of time for the unhealthy relationships.
And it made a huge difference. I like ME again. I am someone I would want to spend time with. And I realized: some people will want to be with, will need, what this version of me has to give–others will not. And that is a wonderful lesson to be okay with.
Have you ever had to learn this lesson?